What are the Causes and Effects of Bullying?

I was a victim of bullying in school and at home too. The bullying I lived through caused me to experience a wide range of emotions, such as feeling angry, bitter, vulnerable, helpless, lonely, and isolated from my peers. I would skip classes and hide at the back of my house until school was over. I had low self-esteem at this time in my life. The students who bullied me would say mean things to me, such as you smell. Did you take a bath? Do you have hot water? Or how come your hair is not combed? Or don’t look at me why I am eating, are you hungry? You can have our leftovers, or you’re so ugly, or where did you get your clothes from, are they from your sister? Do you have your sister’s shoes on? We know your family is so poor, are you from another country because we don’t understand a word that comes out your mouth. In school, they would make me sit around a table with other girls. Sometimes they would take a ruler, bend it back, and hit me in my face. They would take turns, each one trying to hurt me more than the last girl, and they would laugh about it. I could not stop it. I just had to endure the pain they inflicted. 

The bullying lasted for weeks and I became so depressed. I began feeling hopelessness. I believed that there was no help for me. I could not tell my mother, for she was so sick. Within the next week, my mother died. I was so lost. I struggled with self-esteem. I remember wanting to learn how to swim; the swimming pool was right in front of my house. Everyone was at the pool, but I could not go, for fear kept me inside my house. I had heard from a young age that I was not pretty from my family and kids at school. I did not to look at myself in the mirror, I believed the words they said to me; I believed I was so ugly. This affected my life. I had a big attitude with everybody around me. I was so embarrassed about everything I had to wear; I always felt out of place. It was rough for me to live. It got so unbearable for me I thought about committing suicide. I was just a kid with no parents to look out for me. I was feeling like my life was meaningless. In my mind, I was not important enough for someone to care for me. The life I had to live was not right and I could not understand why all these things were happening to me. Why was I being bullying at school? At home? What did I do wrong? Was it something I did that made them do this to me? If I just closed my eyes, I hoped it would just go away. 

This bullying I experienced as a child has affected my life so much that in my adulthood, I could not have positive relationships, especially with men. I could not have a best friend, for it was hard for me to trust people. They would all tell me I was unable to learn. They did not take away my identity, because of them I learned who I was, or who I wanted to be; because of them I am stronger now; I believe in me. All of their words were wasted. They did not know the truth about me. I got my high school diploma. I have my first college credit with a 98 %. I have read over 98 books now and I can tell you all about each story. Look at me now: I am beautiful, I am smart, I love me, and I have compassion for others. I see me now, because of all I endured, I made it through. I have learned to live with the pain and allowed it to make me better. 

Dear Bennie

Dear Bennie, 

I want you to know that you were so loved by your mother; she protected you the best way she knew how. She did the best to keep you with her at all times. What I remember the most is that we would watch television together all the time. At night you would help her wash clothes; when you would see her come home, you would run so fast to catch up to her. You had a friend with you and we would be behind her and you and your friend would play a game and say if you step on a line you would break your mother’s back and you look down at your mother’s feet and your mom was playing the game with you both. You touched your friend’s hand and you told her, “Look my mom is playing the game too,” and we laughed, and we walked her home. My mother had long beautiful black hair that she knew you loved to brush. But she also knew she had no food to feed us, so she did what she had to do and got her hair all cut off for money so she could feed you and your sisters and brothers. That is how much she loved us. She would comb your hair and put the best clothes on you so you could go to school nice and clean. She would get up early in the morning to cook breakfast so you would not be so hungry that day. It was always on her mind to have something for you to eat that day and night. She would put you to bed and kiss your forehead and say good night. It was hard on her with ten children, but she always made you smile and you were always on her mind. She loved you so much she didn’t want to leave you. You were so very special to her. That’s why she named you Candy. She told her mother you looked so sweet to her that she could eat you! She thought she had time before she had to go to the hospital, but she was wrong it was too late you wanted to come, and you did right at home. You were a good baby you did not cry a lot you were walking before it was time. You would put on your own socks and your own clothes and you wanted to get your own water and your own food. When it had come to that time, she knew she had to say goodbye and you gave her a white flower. She cried and told her mother, “Look I am not dead yet and she give me a white flower”. You were sad, but you also knew you would not cry for her because she always told you to be strong no matter what happens she is with you and that she will always be with you. Since that day, you have carried that with you all your life. I want you to know you are just like her, you see a need and you help. You don’t hold back anything; you are one of a kind and nobody could ever take your mother’s place and nobody can take yours too. I want you to know be strong and hold on to life and be your best you can make it. You are smart you are your mother’s daughter.  

Love,  

Bennie Harrington 

In conclusion, to all of those who are being bullied here is my advice: Look for the things that you love about yourself, and find a way to believe in yourself. For me, I had to learn to trust in God for these things to happen. However, I am living proof that it can happen. You too can make it through the awful times, learn to forgive, and find your peace with those who did you wrong. 

How to Make a Barbecue Meatloaf 

I would like to teach you how I make my barbecue meatloaf. First, you get your three pounds of ground beef and one whole package of Jimmy Dean sausages. Next, get one onion, one green bell pepper, and one can of mushrooms. Take a sharp knife to cut the vegetables into small sizes on your cutting board. Then take all of the cut vegetables and put them into a large bowl with your ground beef and your sausages. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. 

While the oven is preheating, take one teaspoon of Baton Rouge burger spice and put in your mixer with one red spice, three eggs, one tablespoon of olive oil, one minced garlic clove, and two cups Jay Louisiana barbecue sauce. Next, you will blend together all ingredients until they are mixed thoroughly. Put it all in the large bowl, mix it with your ground beef and sausage. Now, form the mixture into a loaf, put it in your loaf pan, then take the barbecue sauce and baste it on top. Let it bake for 45 minutes or until the meatloaf reaches 160 degrees. Remove meatloaf from the oven and with a toothpick check to see if it is done. Finally, put on a servicing plate, and now you can enjoy it with your family.